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The 7 Dangerous Mistakes to Avoid In Hostile Workplaces PDF
If you’ve enjoyed this video, please comment below!
Thank you Dr Henshaw, I really enjoyed this video. You make some really good points and I feel for you and the situation you had to endure. I’m 55 and have been out of work for almost 4 years. I would describe my Solicitor boss as a narcissist and I must have offended him at some stage and he and the other staff targeted me for elimination from the workplace. I put up with this bullying treatment for over 10 years, in the end the ‘mob’ forced me to leave. I thought it was interesting that you mentioned your mother in the video as I feel now that my narc parents were perhaps the reason I stayed so long and did not know how to deal with the situation.
Very helpful and honest information. Most of my growth and kearning has come from trauma. Now to get past it and not take it personally.
Although I am lucky enough to be in a job that I like and work with lovely people and I am very well taken care of, but not everyone is so lucky when it comes to their job.
Some people dread going into work because they are being bullied and I know that feeling because many years ago I was bullied in a job myself which resulted in me leaving and on my way out, calling the person concerned ‘A bully and a fat and ugly one at that’ which in hindsight, was probably not the smartest move – but hey, I had my head held high and was somewhat smug watching her hideous mouth fall open like someone had thrown fish in it for her to catch.
So what do you do when you are the victim of workplace bullying? Well I am certainly not the one to advise on this but I do know that the lady in this video is.
I have known Dr Sophie Henshaw for a couple of years now and she really is as genuine as she comes across in this video. No matter how smoothly your life is going, no matter how good your job is, it is worth signing up for her free course because the information in it will give you valuable, transferable skills and an ability to deal with certain situations.
If you are being bullied in your workplace, subscribe to Sophie’s videos because if anything else, you will know that you are not the first, not the last and you certainly are not alone.
*Disclaimer – I am not being paid to advertise this, there is no financial reward or monetary gain in this for me. I just happen to believe in what she is saying because I have been in that situation myself*
Having worked in variety of occupations in both private industry and public service in various roles of management I don’t think I ever come across a more articulate training video; as Sophie has used her subjective narrative to enlighten us to an objective dysfunctional reality. One word sums this most excellent training aid up – ‘Excellent’ – Thank you Sophie this is indeed a real public service – thank you.
Thank you for this video. I was gobsmacked about how relevant it was to my situation. I made every one of these mistakes. At the time I tried to search for guidance and I am sure if I had seen this video I might have done things differently.
Thank you. Just watching this has been very validating. You are an incredible teacher! I was in a stressful situation from 2010 – 2012. Yes, it was traumatic – even questioned my expertise and wondered why I was ding what I was doing. I also had to contend with two bullies. The self-doubt was the most debilitating – so much so, it’s taken me up to now – with several false starts – to start over. I may want to get out of the industry, but I have had several years of fear (freezing?) and confusion. You’re a gifted mentor.
Good for employed person as am used to employ persons I gathered I am act calmly to gain confidence of employee.
Great to see everyone sharing their experiences & realise that this is far more common than I realised. It can feel so isolating going through this on your own, especially when noone else seems to notice, or you stop telling people because they think you’re either overreacting or just need to get over it/ignore it. Thats when the self doubt really sets in. Thank you Sophie and thanks to everyone sharing your stories x
Thank you Sophie for your presentation, it hit home as being totally relevant and appeared a carbon copy of my situation. Interestingly, when I made a formal complaint about the bullying and harassing behaviour of a colleague, I was deliberately and systematically isolated from other colleagues in the workplace who had witnessed events by the management and I was given written instruction that should I discuss any matters with anyone there would be repercussions. This seems to confirm what you have identified as the isolating behaviour in the workplace to keep the complainant silenced and it does leads to further psychological injury and increased self-doubt.
very enlightening and informative
I also made all of these mistakes, but good to know and now I can work on a better outcome. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this, I am currently going through this with my employer and this video has been invaluable. You have accurately described exactly how I have been feeling and the fact that HR are NOT here to help but are there for the company – even when you tell them you have depression and anxiety because of their actions on multiple occasions and its been disregarded. It’s degrading, reductive and soul destroying. My employer does definitely not “live the values” that they promote internally and to the public in their advertising. Thank you so much again and I look forward to watching your other presentations.
Oh, this is exactly what I am going through right now. Last Friday (13:30hrs) I had a meeting with a manager regarding the amount of sick leave I took last year, (due to another bullying incident). I took with me a colleague as witness because I can not longer trust anyone!. In her small office is a 1 meter square table with 4 chairs. I had been in this room many times before and know she always sits in the same chair, her back to the wall and the doors in her view. She will place folders and notebooks in the areas directly to her left and right, leaving a space available directly opposite.
However, I did not sit opposite her – my colleague did instead. She seemed to be put out by this but continued all the same.
She started by saying an audit had been done on the amount of sick leave being taken and my name was on the list. (So was 7 of my colleagues from the same area). She then just looked at me as if I was to answer an unspoken question. I nodded in agreement.
Having been moved from 2 previous areas of the organisation, for trumped up complaints, I was moved to a third area. The manager asked me if I was happy in the new area. “Not really”, I replied. I wanted to continue with details of why, but I said nothing.
She continued, “Do you want to go somewhere else?”, I asked “Where?”
She let out a heavy sigh, and said “Well you are now working 3 days a week, how it that working for you?”. I smiled and said “I think it is the perfect work-life balance. 3 days at work and 4 days at home”. Her demeanor changed and she seemed to become annoyed, she bristled and we were dismissed from her office.
Once outside my colleague said, “She really does not like you”.
My tactic was “Give them nothing … take them nowhere”.
I returned to my area and continued with my work. At 15:45hrs the managers secretary sought me out and hand delivered a letter to me.
Ii is a letter of “Complaint – Clinical and Personal Conduct”. I read the letter and went round to her office and asked “Why did you not give this to me earlier?”
“Because, I did not have it written then”, was her reply.
The letter is vindictive, and obviously written in haste because it contains so many errors. It is also written in a style that does not say exactly what the complaints are, who made them or when they occurred. I returned to the staff room and sobbed – completely out of control. I was hyperventilating and felt like I was going to die. I phoned my partner who came to meet me and took me home.
Watching your video has made me feel like I am not alone. Others are going through the same thing as me. I look forward to watching your other presentation.
Thank you so much.
Your video has opened my eyes to that this isnt just happening to me.
I put trust in people who turned out to be narcissist and have made life so difficult, Working in the public sector with a HR dept that doesnt care about the victim is a nightmare.
The video has given me a better understanding of what I can and should do.
Wow, Sophie Henshaw, I just had such an epiphany when I watched your clip on “7 mistakes to avoid” at a bullying workplace. Right from the beginning it was “snap – same here, snap – me too…” I work in a hostile government organization that sooooo fits your description…Also I too have experienced the “true purpose” of HR when I once filed an official complaint. I put on my big girl’s shoes too and stomped along hallways, only to find myself rebuffed and nearly moved to a sideways move, cause I have a permanent job too. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this video, I shall watch the rest tomorrow. Can only recommend these great “tutorials” to anyone experiencing bullies at work. So educational,I really feel that this knowledge will help me think, act and feel different at work!
Thank you Dr. Henshaw. This is helpful.
I am meeting with Hr tomorrow over an issue. I fell like my strategy has totally changed from emotion driven to having a plan. This video was very helpful.
Thankyou Doctor, this has been more helpful than I can say, its really given me a different perspective on workplace bullying and I am in the middle of a case where I reported to HR and found that they turned on me to cover the bully, it even eventuated in me having a heart attack and in my late 30,s that’s not great, hopefully this will help me to move forward and get past this whole thing a lot wiser 🙂
Thank you Dr. Henshaw
I have taken Gary Naime’s certificate course and I must say I understood clearly the bigger picture from your presentation. To Mr. Naime’s credit my course study has given myself and my government department a great start to understanding the need for a healthier workplace. That was 5yrs ago. We now have a presentation of our own to roll out to our supervisory staff in 2018! I am looking forward to viewing #2 of your series. Thank you so much for all the great work you do. Have a fabulous start of the new year 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I related with everything you mentioned with the self doubt hitting home the hardest. I have been a caregiver for our elderly population. I can not express the passion I have caring for the poor and vulnerable spending 16 of my 20 year career in lock down Alzhiemer\Dementia unit. Turning 54 nrxt month and years of heavy care my body thought it was time to switch to Assisted Living plus it was much shorter commute. I interviewed with the Register Nurse that also was the supervisor over the caregivers. I was a little flattered when she said to me, with your experience and maturity you will be able to whip these little aggravating girls into shape. I believe that was her 1st move of sitting me up fast forward to last week. I go into the Adminastrators office hot under the color because once again I am being falsely accused for the 3rd time since receiving employee of month in November of bullying a couple of girls on another shift.(who are actually the RNs favored workers) that I had reported seversl times for resident neglect and verbal abuse previously. There was no consequences for them but I gained title of the complainer and troublemaker. Adminastrator said he would sit up a conflict meeting to settle this oncr and for all. I was happy because I actually had a witness this time that can prove my innocence this time. So last Thursday, Jan. 31 -16 minutes into my shift I am call to the office. I grabbed my witness just in csse this was it. I knock on the door and opened it to see 5 chairs in a circle all occupied but one. The RN ask my witness why she was here. I answerd moral support and she can testify that this allegation was false. The RN said no she can not stay she has to get back out on the floor.. As my last hope wslked out panick came in and dettled with me in my assigned chair and the ambush began. I was finding it hard to defend myself against lies and it was getting obviously clear I wasn’t suppose to because the RN would cut me off everytime I tried. It was fight or flight so I stood and said. I AM OBVIOUSLY NOT THE TYPE OF EMPLOYEE YOU WANT & YOU ARE NOT MY TYPE OF RMPLOYER. I walked out and went home. It did not hit me till the next day when I started googling looking for a reason. I found Mobbing in the workplace. I was shocked because Thats the moment I realized what had happen to me.
Really fantastic, helpful information. Thank you.
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